Avoid It At All Costs: Southland Tales

Southland Tales
Directed by Richard Kelly
Released November 14, 2007

The first hour is just confusing and weird. After that, I was hoping that the projector would stop working. People seriously got up and left. That is the risk you take when the director of the super-bizarre "Donnie Darko" makes a film with the strangest cast ever, including The Rock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Mandy Moore, Cheri Oteri, Amy Poehler, Jon Lovitz, Seann William Scott, and Justin Timberlake. No one is necessarily good or bad, but the film as a hole falls flat. Apologies in advance to "Buffy" fans, but I really cannot stand Sarah Michelle Gellar, so all her scenes were annoying to me. The Rock does do the best with his material and is often quite funny. Seann William Scott in the token dramatic role was not a good idea, however. For all its fantasy elements and technological babble, there is not one ounce of sense in this movie. The impending end of the world is interesting for a moment, but each character manages to make it just seem dumb. The very technology-oriented future is chock full of disturbing reckless killing and dystopian elements, but it is like a misguided amalgam of "Brazil" and "Idiocracy" on crack. When characters begin to utter the film's horrid tagline "I'm a pimp, and pimps don't commit suicide", I almost had to look away. Two and a half hours is much to long to have to suffer through this film. I can see why it got booed at Cannes.

F