Movie with Abe: You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
Directed by Woody Allen
Released September 22, 2010

Wonder why you might not have heard about the new film from Woody Allen? Consider it a blessing. While most agree that the earlier works of Allen, such as “Annie Hall,” “Manhattan,” “Hannah and Her Sisters,” and “Crimes and Misdemeanors,” are much better than the recent work he’s been churning out – with the possible exception of “Match Point” and “Vicky Cristina Barcelona,” efforts such as “Scoop” and “Whatever Works” have been weak but not entirely worthless. His rather vaguely and obnoxiously titled new film bears some similarity in plot but little in structure and coherence to any of his previous films, even the newer ones.

While it’s fair to call most of Allen’s films ensemble pictures, there is usually at least one or two clear leading characters. That’s not entirely necessary to his film or any film, but it does help. The primary family unit in “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger” includes an aging father who has fallen in love with and gotten engaged to a prostitute, a mess of a mother seeing comfort in a fortune teller, a daughter with a crush on her dark, tall boss, and a son-in-law with a medical degree, no talent for his chosen field of writing, and a major obsession with his attractive neighbor bathed in red across the way. There is no defined lead character, and every one of those plotlines lacks the requisite pizzazz to effectively steer, let alone carry, the film.

One trademark of Allen, arguably good or bad, is his use of the same actors over and over in his films. It used to be Mia Farrow and Dianne Wiest, and more recently, it has been Scarlett Johanssen. “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger” is full of Allen virgins, and while thinking outside of the box and trying new things should never be discouraged, the results here are not positive. All of the actors speak pretty much in their native accents, most notably Australian Naomi Watts and Brit Anna Friel (“Pushing Daisies”) and Indian Frieda Pinto (“Slumdog Millionaire”), and the dialogue just doesn’t come alive (not that it’s a clever script either). Thespians like Watts and Anthony Hopkins have proved themselves before and are displaying none of their talents, Antonio Banderas is miscast, Josh Brolin would be better off without any lines, and Pinto’s pale performance suggest that perhaps her big debut was merely a one-hit wonder.

Overall, the cast isn’t necessarily to blame. How much more can Allen say about infidelity and relationships? He has told a variation of the same story over and over again, and at a certain point there’s nothing left to explore or dramatize. The wells haven’t gone completely dry, but Allen needs to take a fresh approach that doesn’t simply involve transplanting his characters to a new city where they have exotic accents. Like a few of the more optimistically-inclined personalities in “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger,” Allen needs to get a fresh start, and start digging and crafting something in entirely new territory.

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