Movie with Abe: Clash of the Titans

Clash of the Titans
Directed by Louis Leterrier
Released April 2, 2010

Anyone going into this movie pretty much knows what to expect. This is not a stern historically accurate account of ancient times, nor is it a smart epic seeking to earn a dozen Oscar nominations. This is a film that shows its lead character holding a decapitated head on its promotional posters. Gore, violence, and combat between mythic creatures is what’s on the menu in this reimagining of a Greek myth and a cult 1981 film. Anyone anticipating anything else is in for a brutal disappointment.

There certainly exists an audience for this kind of movie, but those who will enjoy it most will likely find themselves laughing throughout all of its supposedly dramatic and intense scenes. One moviegoer excitedly shouted out, “the shit’s about to hit the fan!” when a new sea creature emerged from the depths of the ocean midway through the film, and he was having a great time. Rip-roaring action is key to the success of this kind of film, and for that one attendee at an early Friday morning show last week, the amount of action appeared to be satisfactory.

In actuality, there is surprisingly little truly exciting action, and it seems like a Staples “that was easy” button should have been distributed to each of the characters at the film’s conclusion. This is one of those epics that is too short rather than too long, clocking in at less than two hours. Anything more, however, would have been even more grueling and unbearable for those who don’t side with the enthusiastic gentleman mentioned above. Throughout the entire film, there is not one ounce of character development, intelligence, or coherence. The movie has more scenery than “300,” but no more sense. Learning the names of the characters isn’t worthwhile because they might as well all be one, save for those associated with deity, namely Perseus, the half-human, half-god son of Zeus. Actor Sam Worthington, following up on his leading role in megahit “Avatar,” looks as angry as any movie character has ever been, and, tragically enough, he delivers probably the best performance in the film, though Mads Mikkelsen (“Casino Royale,” “After the Wedding”) puts forth a commendable effort in a silly role. The film doesn’t even seem clear on what woman Perseus should end up with, and it’s plagued with nonsense and stupid plot detours. Trying to catch all of the plot holes and stupid devices employed by the film enhances the experience considerably, because there’s nothing remotely decent about this movie.

F