Home Video (It Just Gets Worse): Next

Next
Directed by Lee Tamahori
Released April 27, 2007

I rented this mainly for two reasons: I was seeking mindless entertainment and I could not believe it could be quite as bad as some had said. It probably is not great that I read the linked review before I was planning on the film, not because it skewed my impression of the film but rather because it says pretty much everything I want to say here. The premise of the film, that Nicolas Cage can see two minutes into his future, is loose at the very best, and the way it plays out is dismal. So much could have been done with this idea, and while it might never have worked perfectly, I would have hoped for something better than this. It is occasionally hard to tell what is really happening and what Cage is simply "seeing" in the future, and that becomes immediately tiresome. Two usually terrific actors embarass themselves beyond belief here. Cage walks around as if he is just passing the time, directing the show as he sees fit. His hair looks ridiculous, and his casual performance reveals just how little he cares. Julianne Moore, four-time Oscar nominee, is so inexplicably pissed off from the first moment she appears on screen. There is absolutely no reason for her to be stiff and annoyed, and I would hardly call this acting. Then throw in Jessica Biel, who is a terrible actress to begin with, and you have three leads who just make you want to punch them in the face every time they speak. I was continually astounded at how each scene of this film was worse than the last, and I cannot imagine how the writers (it took three of them!) sleep at night after having to hear their abysmal dialogue sounded out. Some of the characters even acknowledge the fact that most of the story is so completely irrelevant to the plot. To boot, the ending made me more angry than I have been in a while. I hated "Walk Hard", but I can now say that this is the worst film of the year. Avoid it at all costs. Seriously. Do not do it. Even if you are curious. It is a bad idea.

F-

Oscar chances: Just kidding.